Fr Peter Dougherty, who had been resident in the priest’s retirement home at 37 Lancaster, went home to his father’s house last week. This week the Church of Johannesburg has been saying its farewells to him. On Wednesday evening there was a moving memorial mass held at Rivonia parish, where he had last ministered as parish priest. Several parishioners gave testimonies about his impact on their lives. Fr Andrew preached the homily and highlighted his ministerial biography, which was rather long, given his 63 years of ordained ministry. He had served in parishes in Maryvale, Rivonia, the Cathedral, Alexandra. Boksburg and in Soweto. It was impressive. His requiem mass was held on Thursday at the cathedral, presided over by Cardinal Brislin. It was simple but full of rich symbolism, with a chalice and stole placed on his coffin as symbols of his
ministerial life. The priest’s WhatsApp group for the diocese was filled with will anecdotes about him, describing him as a faithful presence, a gentleman, a dry sense of humor, patient, compassionate.
These tributes, these obituaries, were not written after he died but during his life, with the deeds of his life, with his faith and with his love. Let me contrast it with one of the saddest obituaries I have ever read:
“Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.” I think we all have a choice about how we will be remembered, because the final word of
your obituary has not yet been written, not if you are around to read this Pastor’s Corner.
There is still time for us to be a good and kind mother/father; grandmother/grandfather; son/daughter; friend; community member; priest. So, here’s a suggestion. Take a piece of paper and write your obituary as you would want it to be read at your funeral and then ask yourself if that would be your current obituary.
Be honest with yourself, even if it is painful. What needs to change in your life… or maybe even continue, for you to have the kind of obituary that you would want for yourself. It is never too late to love, to forgive, to laugh, to celebrate, to be compassionate, to be selfless and to serve.
